🍉 The Wacky Watermelon Rumble – As Told by Gummy DeMarco

Gummy DeMarco discovered Wacky Watermelon outside Muskegon, Michigan, after wandering into a late-night “Watermelon Rodeo” he swears wasn’t on any map. Instead of bulls, the arena was full of giant, glossy watermelons bucking like they’d just mainlined fruit punch. One particularly wild one locked eyes with him, winked, and launched itself straight into his arms. What followed was part wrestling match, part tango, part very juicy therapy session. By the end, Gummy was drenched in sweet, tangy watermelon nectar, laughing like a man who’d just found his life’s purpose.

👅Tastes like: Sweet-tangy summer making out with your taste buds, soft and cloud-like but dripping with enough juicy swagger to leave you sticky, smiling, and wondering if you need to light a cigarette afterward.